Dear Friends,
I have been discouraged lately thinking of all of the people who are amending their faith or abandoning it all together in pursuit of a gay life. We truly have become a society that values our own pleasures, needs and passions above anything and everything else. For those who marry their theology with their sexuality, or anything immoral for that matter, it is all about fitting God into our will rather than sacrificing our own desires for Him. What’s even more staggering is that segments of the Church are now leading entire generations of people toward that kind of humanistic reality with their dangerous theology.
This afternoon I met with two young men in very different places on their journey. One is a young man who pursued gay life in high school; found out that it offered nothing of what he was actually starving for. Eight years ago he decided to pursue Christ over his sexuality and found the wholeness he had always craved. This young man is living counter culturally to many in his generation, even from many within his own church as he chooses to obediently serve the Lord. I encouraged him and promised to pray for him. He is a light in a dark world.
The second young man I met with today is just entering adulthood. Despite the fact that he grew up in church he is really struggling with making Christ his entire focus. He knows the truth but fears giving himself to what he perceives to be the rigidity of Christian life – a set of do’s and don’ts. I get it. As I listened to him I could remember being in his very shoes 20 years ago. I knew what was right but I didn’t want to do it out of a legalistic motivation. I wanted more. I wanted to want Christ because I knew He truly was more satisfying. I wanted relationship not robotics. At that point I did pursue a gay life, a counterfeit, because it seemed better to me than the real thing – the community of Christ known as the local church. Like me at his age, this Christian boy is teetering on the edge of pursuing one or the other knowing full well that trying to have both will only make him miserable. No one can serve two masters with their whole heart. Ultimately one must win.
As I talked to this second young man he asked me something profound. He said, “What about the people who say they are happy with their decision to pursue gay life?” My response was honest. I think people can find happiness in almost anything – at least some level of happiness. Sometimes when the battle is over and one simply decides to live one way or the other it’s just a relief. But, it has been my experience that those who decide to pursue gay life do so at the expense of or in absence of an authentic relationship with Christ. For those who have experienced salvation they must deny Christ (altogether or His truth concerning morality). When individuals haven’t encountered the person of Christ and are simply following some kind of Christian moral code the happiness seemingly available in counterfeits can be very attractive. They just don’t know Him and therefore they don’t trust Him to meet their needs. I have so many friends who don’t know Jesus who are amazing people living quite happily pursuing whatever their god is: money, religion, sex, fame, etc. While I believe God created us to know there is something missing I think a lot of people learn to live with that void – settling for what they believe is all the good they will ever have.
I went on to tell him that I can’t completely speak for others, but I can speak for myself. While I was a Christian pursuing homosexuality I lived with a burning question that wouldn’t go away – a nagging doubt that I could ever be truly at peace or happy with gay life. That was one of the motivating factors in me leaving that life behind. Today, I don’t live my life wondering if I am living the life God created me to live. I don’t question the path I chose nearly 20 years ago. I know with all confidence that I am who God intended for me to be and will continue to become more of who He created me to be. I have never once doubted my love or commitment to Christ or my love for Leslie.
As we continue to endure this soul-ravaging culture that is seeking to devour us may we seek Christ and His righteousness and fight to the death for the freedom He died to give us. I cling daily to, and experience the reality of Psalms 27:13-14 that says,
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Battling with You and for You!
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