I turn 46 this year and I have several friends joining me in the upward creep toward 50. We have spent considerable time talking about the reality of life in our 40s. I told one friend that I catch myself longing for my 20s and all the opportunity that lay ahead of me then. I wonder if I had known what it would feel like to be 45, would I have acted differently when I was 25?
I was thinking about this as I ran recently. I have lived in Midland off and on since 1991 and have run the same basic running route all these years. When you run the same streets five days a week, you notice certain exterior aspects of people’s lives. A while back I was running past a familiar house and noticed the home-owner sitting behind the glass door in a wheelchair. Her lap was covered in a blanket and she was just staring outside. I remember seeing this lady from years back unloading groceries from her car, talking outside to a neighbor, and weeding her flower beds. My first thought was one of dread at being in that place someday, my life essentially over.
But the next day I noticed her again and noticed that she was watching me, and a new thought hit me. In the same way I look at college kids or new college graduates as full of promise, maybe she looks that way at me. I wondered if she was thinking….”If I had known what it would feel like to be 85, would I have acted differently when I was 45?” Would she challenge me to be sensitive to the potential ahead of me in the same way I would challenge a 25 year old?
We are encouraged in the Bible to forget what lies behind and to reach forward to what lies ahead. That means not focusing on the past, whether the past involved good things, bad things, successes, failures, dashed hopes or regrets…and instead focusing on what lies ahead. That is easier said than done, but the reality is that I have a lot of life to live. Even if I die tomorrow, I have a lot of life to live today. If I spend today regretting what is behind and worrying about the unknown that lies ahead, I will miss the life that I have to live today. What a waste that would be!
Today may be the day that my encouraging word gives someone else the courage to keep pressing on. Today may be the day that a door opens my life to a dream I thought was dead. Today may be the day that time with my kids becomes one of their life-time memories. Today may be the day that I teach something invaluable to someone younger or learn something invaluable from someone older. Today may be the day that defines my course from this day forward. Today may be the day that what I know in my head becomes real in my heart. I don’t want to miss today.
There will always be someone who looks at me and thinks I am old, and always someone who looks at me and thinks I am young. If I worry about either I am wasting time. I have life to live today, and I plan to live it. I want to look someday, from a wheelchair in a doorway, and see a 40ish guy running down the street and think “Man, am I glad for the life I lived. I ran – and loved – and served – and worked – and lived. And until God takes me home, I have life to live today.” And then maybe I’ll yell for someone to open that door and move me outside!
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