Church — Exodus International

Discipleship at Breakfast: How Should Leaders Respond to a Confessing Struggler?

August 24, 2011 by Chris Stump

When I began my sophomore year in college, I had been attending an Exodus referral ministry for about six months. One of the biggest things this ministry emphasized (which I’m very grateful for), was getting involved in a local church. I had been going off and on to a small Baptist church just outside of town and really liked the college ministry. The college pastor there was very friendly and would try to chat with me each Sunday before I left. I would talk briefly, even coolly, with him, and then quickly find my way to the exit. After a month of school I began to feel the urge to talk to him privately. I knew I needed to tell him my struggle with homosexuality.

A couple Sundays went by. I avoided asking to meet with him over and over. Finally, I got the courage to ask, and he excitedly agreed to meet me for breakfast on campus the following week. What happened in our meeting together was a pivotal part in my healing journey. In so many ways, he did it right. And I hope, that through my experience and how he helped me along, this will be helpful for all those that are in leadership at a church, campus ministry, or any other ministry.

As the morning of that day approached, I became more anxious. Sometimes I prayed that he would call me up and say he had to reschedule due to a conflict – anything to get me out of talking to him. I worried constantly about his response. How would he react to my struggle with such a taboo issue? Would he reject me? Would he judge me? Would I disgust him? All these things were spinning around in my head, making me nauseous – literally. The dreadful day came and I grabbed my bag, walked down the stairs and outside towards the food court. I breathed heavily, preparing myself to do, what I thought was, a ridiculous thing.

As a church leader it’s important to understand the significance of someone coming to confide in you about their struggle with homosexuality. I’m not saying everyone is going to feel the same angst I did. But more often than not, those who struggle with homosexuality have experienced condemnation from the church rather than grace. So for an individual to come to you with this, it’s very plausible that he or she is coming to you with iron butterflies thrashing around in the pit of their stomachs. Acknowledge their courage in confessing this struggle. It’s no small task. Understand they may have faced fear and apprehension leading up to your meeting.

All my years growing up I never had a mentor – an older figure I could look up to and admire. There was still a little boy inside desperately seeking a man to pour into my life and counsel me. So, when I went to the college pastor, my intentions were not only to tell him my baggage, but also to receive something from him. When a person comes to you and shares their struggle with homosexuality, they aren’t looking for a pat on the back, or a thank you for being honest. They’re looking for some sort of investment from you. Whether that investment is emotionally engaging with them on a continual basis, checking in on them, or taking the time to seek out the best resources and people to help them, we must steward those confessions and vulnerability well. [Read more...]

Tagged with Church, Compassion, Confession, Encourage, God, Grace, Healing, Help, Homosexual, Homosexuality, Hope, Identity, Journey, Joy, Leadership, Ministry, Needs, Struggle, Temptation

Evangelicals and the Gay Moral Revolution

August 11, 2011 by Chris Stump

Albert Mohler wrote an excellent article that was posted on The Christian Post’s website yesterday. To read the full article click here.

This is a route that evangelical Christians committed to the full authority of the Bible cannot take. Since we believe that the Bible is God’s revealed word, we cannot accommodate ourselves to this new morality.

The Christian church has faced no shortage of challenges in its 2,000-year history. But now it’s facing a challenge that is shaking its foundations: homosexuality.

To many onlookers, this seems strange or even tragic. Why can’t Christians just join the revolution?

And make no mistake, it is a moral revolution. As philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah of Princeton University demonstrated in his recent book, “The Honor Code,” moral revolutions generally happen over a long period of time. But this is hardly the case with the shift we’ve witnessed on the question of homosexuality.

In less than a single generation, homosexuality has gone from something almost universally understood to be sinful, to something now declared to be the moral equivalent of heterosexuality-and deserving of both legal protection and public encouragement. Theo Hobson, a British theologian, has argued that this is not just the waning of a taboo. Instead, it is a moral inversion that has left those holding the old morality now accused of nothing less than “moral deficiency.”

The liberal churches and denominations have an easy way out of this predicament. They simply accommodate themselves to the new moral reality. By now the pattern is clear: These churches debate the issue, with conservatives arguing to retain the older morality and liberals arguing that the church must adapt to the new one. Eventually, the liberals win and the conservatives lose. Next, the denomination ordains openly gay candidates or decides to bless same-sex union.

This is a route that evangelical Christians committed to the full authority of the Bible cannot take. Since we believe that the Bible is God’s revealed word, we cannot accommodate ourselves to this new morality. We cannot pretend as if we do not know that the Bible clearly teaches that all homosexual acts are sinful, as is all human sexual behavior outside the covenant of marriage. We believe that God has revealed a pattern for human sexuality that not only points the way to holiness, but to true happiness. For full article click here.

Tagged with Albert Mohler, Bible, Christians, Church, Debate, Gay, God, Holiness, Homosexuality, Sexuality, Sin, The Christian Post

World Magazine Interviews Alan Chambers on Willow Creek Split with Exodus

July 29, 2011 by Exodus International

World Magazine covered the recent story of Willow Creek’s split with Exodus. Alan Chambers was interviewed for his response.

Willow Creek Community Church has ended a decades-long partnership with Exodus International, the world’slargest ministry that addresses homosexuality in the church. The South Barrington, Ill., megachurch’s decision to split with the organization is one of a number of recent public separations from Christian organizations that promote a biblical perspective on same-sex relationships.

Though Willow Creek made the decision in 2009, it wasn’t made public until June.

Alan Chambers, president of Exodus, said he believes the separation occurred because Willow Creek gave in to pressure from gay activists. In recent years, Soulforce, whose mission is to persuade Christian organizations to accept homosexuality, had targeted Willow Creek.

“Willow Creek is a strong church,” Chambers pointed out, but he is nonetheless “deeply saddened to see that Willow Creek isn’t going to offer strong discipleship for people struggling with same-sex attractions.”

In a statement obtained by The Christian Post, Scott Vaudrey, Willow Creek’s director of pastoral care and leader of its elder response team, said, “It is true that Willow Creek discontinued its formal relationship with Exodus. In making this move, we were not making a social or political statement. We were simply in a season of reviewing and clarifying some of our affiliations with outside organizations.”

Exodus and Willow Creek’s relationship began in the late 1980s, with the megachurch being one of the first and largest churches to officially sign on with the organization. The relationship began as an informal partnership but became more formal when Willow Creek joined the Exodus Church Association.

Exodus helped Willow Creek leaders work with people experiencing same-sex attraction and would often refer people to Willow Creek’s ministries. Chambers spoke at the megachurch and attended several conferences there as well. He said that while the relationship had been positive, he believes Willow Creek eventually began to “rethink how they were being viewed.”

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Tagged with Alan Chambers, Christianity, Church, Exodus In the News, Gay Activism, Homosexuality, Interviews, New Zealand

Jeff Buchanan Responds to Willow Creek Split with Exodus

July 28, 2011 by Chris Stump

One News Now covered the recent story of Willow Creek’s split with Exodus. Jeff Buchanan was interviewed for his response.

Susan DeLay, director of media relations at the mega-church, says Willow Creek ending its relationship with Exodus does not mean it is any less welcoming to people with same-sex attraction, as “Willow Creek has a whole host of ministries for people dealing with these issues. All we’ve changed,” she continues, “is how we’ve gone about inviting them into the church, which is the primary issue here.”

Jeff Buchanan, executive vice president of Exodus International, says his group is disappointed with Willow Creek’s decision.

“To date, we’re still not very clear on the reason why. Our church association is meant to be a referral network of churches that are willing to receive those who are dealing with unwanted same-sex attractions and they’re looking for ministry and for help, and that’s the sole purpose of their association with us,” Buchanan explains. “So, we are still left with questions and a little bit perplexed as to why they have chosen to pull out.”

But even though other churches may be trying to help homosexuals, Buchanan fears Willow Creek’s decision leaves a ministerial hole in the Chicago area.

“I think it will definitely leave some questions regarding those that may be involved with Willow Creek or a part of that congregation as to what are they providing and how are they meeting the needs of these men and women and the families that are affected by this as well,” the Exodus International executive vice president notes.

But his organization is not closing the curtain to homosexuals in the Chicago area, as Exodus International is considering other churches there to join its affiliation.

Tagged with Change, Church, Culture, Exodus International, Fear, Help, Homosexual, Jeff Buchanan, Media, Ministry, Needs, News, Relationship, Sin

Gratefully Offended

July 27, 2011 by Mike Goeke

As a pastor and as someone in ministry to churches and people all over the country, I have seen a growing trend over the last several years. It seems that we, as the church and as Christian individuals, spend a lot of time pulling back the outward expression of our faith for fear of offending people. Churches water down theology and their message to make sure no one leaves offended. People ignore the destructive, sinful behavior of their friends to make sure their friends are not offended. People seek community that is intentionally non-confrontational so that they will not personally be offended.

In the last weeks, it seems like I have been inundated with issues that almost seem to be begging for confrontation, but ones in which no one wants to take that step. It has made me think about my own faith. Do I believe the Word of God? If I do believe it, why am I so afraid to share it with people I say I love? If I really love people, shouldn’t I risk their offense if it means saving their lives?

The reality is that the Gospel of Christ, and the truth of the Word, is by its nature offensive. It is described as a sword, and it divides, and it exposes, and it digs to deep, hidden places. It also leads us to God, to truth, to healing, to fulfillment and to freedom. As I have thought about this, I have been reminded of a time in my life when I was deeply offended by my friends and family. I had left my wife to pursue a life built around my feelings and defined by sinful behavior, and had expected my friends and family to accept what I was doing, support what I was doing, and not question what I was doing. I was offended by much of Christianity, and for a season I walked away from people who loved me, and I walked away from the church.

But today, 13 years later, I would like to say a hearty ‘THANK YOU’ to my wife, and my parents and family, and my friends, who cared enough about me to offend me! I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I consider the ramifications in my life had the people in my world bought into the lie that to love me was to affirm me in my sin. When I left my wife, she boldly told me that she knew God could work in me and in our marriage and that she would not pursue divorce. She protected her interests but always professed her love for me and her desire to work through this together. My parents (and other family members) told me that what I was doing was wrong. They bought books and other materials and tried to get me to talk to a counselor. They also called frequently to check on me, sent me money when I needed it, came to see me on my birthday, and flew me home for holidays. My friends drove hours to talk to me about what I was doing, and told me what they believed. They flew from other towns to take me to dinner and tried to convince me to get help and to turn from the life I was living. They also sent me cards and letters full of love and affirmation of our friendship. [Read more...]

Tagged with Change, Christianity, Church, Community, Confrontation, Encourage, Faith, Fear, Friends, Friendship, God, Gospel, Healing, Heart, Help, Identity, Jesus, Journey, Life, Love, Ministry, Pastors, Sin, The Gospel, Theology, Truth

Exodus Responds to Driscoll’s Facebook Comment

July 15, 2011 by Exodus International

This week Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA asked his fans on his Facebook page to share stories about the most effeminate worship leader they’ve ever witnessed. The Christian Post covered the story and interviewed Jeff Buchanan for the Exodus perspective:

Exodus International, a worldwide ministry aimed at helping those struggling with homosexuality, says a recentFacebook comment by megachurch Pastor Mark Driscoll fuels the perception of many that Christians are homophobic.

Driscoll is the founding pastor of Seattle-based Mars Hill Church and often posts his thoughts on the cultural news of the day through the use of social media.

In a Facebook post on his page from this week that was later removed, Driscoll asked, “So, what story do you have about the most effeminate anatomically male worship leader you’ve ever personally witnessed?”

Jeff Buchanan, who is the executive vice president of Exodus International, said he is disappointed in Driscoll’s behavior. He said his organization was “greatly concerned about what Driscoll might unintentionally communicate to those who are struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions.”

“Having been a worship leader for a number of years and a man who has left homosexuality, his comment was personal for me,” Buchanan said. “As a leader and a follower of Christ, I believe an apology is appropriate and necessary. It is comments such as this that feed the cultural perception of homophobia in the evangelical community.”

Click here for entire article

Tagged with Exodus In the News, Exodus International, Homosexuality, Identity, Interviews

Refined to Reflect the Refiner

June 2, 2011 by Mike Goeke

Instead of working so hard to achieve a change in our circumstances, maybe what we need more is a change in our perspective.

Recently I went through a low time where I found myself struggling in several areas of my life. As pressures mounted, I did what I am prone to do. I began to focus on how to change my circumstances. My brain began to be filled with ideas, plans and schemes designed to get me to a more comfortable place. And, as usually happens when I try to manipulate my circumstances, I just got more frustrated and less content.

It seems to me that most of us respond to the issues we face in very similar ways – our focus becomes all about changing the circumstances that are troubling us. Even our prayer life can be all about asking God to ‘fix’ something to make our lives more pleasant. But while we think our efforts to change our circumstances will make our lives better, the truth is that we just end up exhausted and no more at peace than when we started. Instead of working so hard to achieve a change in our circumstances, maybe what we need more is a change in our perspective.

Recently my pastor defined wisdom, which God promises us if we ask for it (James 1:5), as a change from a human perspective to God’s perspective. To have God’s perspective on the difficult things in our lives would be to see those things through the lens of God’s design, purpose and way. God never promises that life will be easy, but His word says that He works everything to good for those who love Him. If we saw every ‘negative’ situation in our lives as a means for God to work ‘good’ in us, maybe we wouldn’t focus so much on manipulating our circumstances to ‘feel’ better. Maybe, instead, we would begin to see our issues, trials and struggles as opportunities for God to do something transformational in our lives. And maybe the prospect of God at work in our lives would change us at a level deeper than the surface issues that so often derail us, even when our circumstances never change.

[Read more...]

Tagged with Beauty, Bible, Change, Fear, Forgiveness, God, Heart, Jesus, Joy, Lies, Life, Love, Men, Mothers, Pain, Prayer, Relationship, Sacrifice, Sin, Soul, Trust, Truth, Women

Isn’t It Harmful or Unnatural to Deny Your Feelings or Attractions? – Real Answers for April 2011

April 14, 2011 by Angela Buchanan

This article appears in both our offline and online newsletters. To receive articles like this along with the full newsletter online via email or offline through the postal service please sign up here.

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Isn’t it harmful or unnatural to deny your feelings or attractions?

How can that be called freedom?

Freedom is an interesting concept. Many believe freedom means a life unhindered, complete and free expression without any restraint.

But freedom without any boundaries or restraint will ruin or perhaps even kill you. Eat whatever you want, whenever you want and you will slowly kill yourself. Eventually you will not be free to do anything – literally. Spend whatever you want, whenever you want and debt will bankrupt you.

What if I decided one day that it is too restrictive to stop at red traffic lights? I want to be able to drive without limitations. Is that freedom? That example may sound ridiculous, but it reveals the absurdity of the thinking that freedom is life without any limits. In society, safeguards are put in place to protect our freedom and the freedom of others.

People in our culture think it is wrong and unnatural to restrain ourselves, especially in the realm of sexuality, but the truth is people restrain themselves all the time to honor some conviction or commitment. Perhaps it is their health, friendship, marriage or faith. We choose to say NO to a momentary desire or feeling so we can honor the YES we have already committed to. That is freedom - exercising our ability to say NO or YES based on our core values and convictions.

When we choose to follow Christ, we submit to His principles for living because we trust Him and know that He loves us. God’s guidelines are not meant to kill our joy or make our lives miserable, He is lovingly trying to protect our freedom and keep us from the natural consequences of harmful or sinful behavior.

I realize Christian concepts such as self-denial and self-control are not talked about much today. Self-gratification rules the day, sadly often inside the church as well as outside the church. But, Christ tells us we are to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. (Mark 8:34) When living for something or someone beyond ourselves – a higher purpose, there is always a laying down of self. For example, I know a couple who moved to a third-world country to be missionaries with young children, leaving behind all the comforts of home as well as friends and family. It was a hard transition, but one they were excited about making. Their conviction and desire to follow Christ superseded their desires for material comforts and the close proximity of family. That is what being a true follower of Christ is all about.

For individuals struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions, denying certain feelings and submitting them to the Lord is not something that is unique to your walk of faith. All believers must do this from time to time – whether they are dealing with lust, jealousy, anger, fear or a variety of other feelings. While many may not consider that to be “natural,” it is normal for the life of a believer. We choose not to be dominated or controlled by certain feelings and rely on God to sustain us. In HIM is true freedom!

Tagged with Anger, Church, Culture, Exodus International, Faith, Family, Fear, Finding Freedom, Friendship, Gratification, Guide, Honor, Joy, Love, Marriage, Sexuality, Sin, Trust, Truth

An Unfailing and Generous Grace – Letter from Alan Chambers for April 2011

April 13, 2011 by Alan Chambers

Alan Chambers - President, Exodus International

This letter from Alan Chambers appears in both our offline and online newsletters. To receive this letter along with the full newsletter online via email or offline through the postal service please sign up here.

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Dear Friends,

Many of you know that Exodus was prominently featured on the new Oprah Winfrey Network show, Our America with Lisa Ling, in early March. All in all, the piece was what I expected it to be. Secular media is never going to endorse the ministry of Exodus or come close to accurately portraying us, but I felt this piece made some effort to do so, therefore I was moderately pleased. When editing is involved I know that if there is any opportunity to create confusion (a.k.a. “interest”) the producers will capitalize on it. In my interview I gave ample room for “interest” with a statement I made that ended up being the final statement of the show. I said,

“Is there condemnation for those who are in Christ? No there is not.

There are people out there living a Gay Christian life, active Gay Christian life. God’s the one who called them and has their heart. And they are in relationship with him. And do I believe they will be in heaven with me? I do. If they have a relationship with Jesus Christ, they will. We serve that kind of God that says, “Come to me as you are”. His love is unconditional. He wants our heart more than anything else.”

Before you scream, “Amen” or “Heretic”, just keep reading.

I am a believer in the reality of God’s unfathomable grace. It has wrecked me permanently. I have reconciled the fact that I don’t get it even though I’ve got it. Two of the things I know about that grace is that it cannot be dependent on my abilities and it is unfailing in its generosity to all who receive it through their profession of faith in Christ. I cannot, nor do I desire to, tell someone who has “believed” on Jesus that they don’t know Him. I think it is within my scope to judge actions, not hearts. There is a difference.

My comments on Lisa Ling caused uproar among some, maybe even you, who feared I was condoning sin or allowing for someone to be comfortable in their sin and therefore taking Exodus down the new road of ambiguity that is plaguing our churches today. To that end let me point you to my life and this ministry for the definitive answer on what I believe. I think my article last month on identity might have helped, too. My identity is solidly IN Christ. I am not a gay Christian or an ex-gay Christian. I am a Christian period. I am a man. A husband. A father. A son. While still a human with fallible flesh, I have a new heart and am therefore a new creation in Christ Jesus. Because of that I am no longer able to find comfort in sin, though I will be tempted by it until death. As will you.

Grace hasn’t caused me to make peace with sin; it has given me a better reason to hate it and war against it. As a new creation in Christ my life is now defined by my relationship with Him. I am a follower of Christ and choose daily to pursue holiness as a means to honor the love and the grace He has extended to me. My motivation to obey is not birthed out of a desperate, anxious need to perform well, afraid He may disown me, but to please the One who has died for me and forgiven me. This pursuit of holiness is a progressive one and one I certainly don’t do perfectly. But, I know that today I am a far better man, a faithful man, because my focus is not on performance but on cherishing the relationship I have with my Savior and Lord.

I have had an increasing number of gay Christians approach me for “dialogue.” I am glad for this open door, but at the same time I am very cautious because there isn’t any room for more confusion or hurt. I do believe that there are gay-identified people who truly know Christ – ones who are active in the sin of homosexuality and ones who are celibate. However, I also believe there is a tremendous amount of deception in anyone who chooses to define themselves as gay and certainly deception in anyone engaging in deliberate and habitual sin. Neither helps someone fully embrace his or her core identity in Christ or allows Him to be the primary ‘need meeter’ that He died to be. This is what makes Gay Theology so dangerous – it is built on the sand of unsound doctrine that seeks to tickle the ears of those trying to justify their sin. (2 Timothy 4:3) I know this article will trouble varying groups for very different reasons. Some will see me as soft on sin and others as too rigid. I must confess that trying to live up to Christ’s example of being 100% truth and 100% grace is daunting and because of my humanity I realize there is plenty of room for error. So, grace, please.

In a worldwide ministry like Exodus there is a richness of denominational diversity, which means there are doctrinal differences regarding many things, including the eternal security of those who claim Christ. That’s ok. What ultimately binds us together is our belief in Jesus Christ, the inerrancy of His Word and His amazing ability to transform lives. So, please pray with me that those who have recently been exposed to the ministry of Exodus will be brought out of darkness and into His marvelous light!

All for the Kingdom,

Alan Chambers

MORE:

“Our America with Lisa Ling” – Response by Alan Chambers

Tagged with Alan Chambers, Christians, Church, Ex-gay, Exodus International, Faith, Fear, Friends, Gay, Gay Christian, Gay Theology, God, Grace, Heart, Holiness, Homosexual, Homosexuality, Identity, Interviews, Jesus, Lisa Ling, Love, Media, Ministry, News, Oprah, Relationship, Sexuality, Truth

New Season for Randy Thomas at Exodus

April 12, 2011 by Alan Chambers

I am so enjoying the beautiful weather spring has brought to Orlando. Though, we don’t get the radical differences in seasons that many of you experience, I still appreciate the special and unique blessings that each change brings. Our lives in Christ go through seasons as well and I am so glad that He is with us through all of the changes life brings. I am writing to you today, as leaders, to tell you about a new season here at Exodus—one that we are all excited about.

In January, my colleague and dear friend, Randy Thomas, came to me to say that he was sensing a possible transition in regards to his position at Exodus International. He basically told me he was praying about it and was looking for input and direction from those closest to him. As you already know, Randy has strong pastoral, artistic and creative gifts that, while used in his position, have not had an opportunity to grow and develop to their full potential. To Randy’s surprise I concurred with what he was sensing and shared that I had been praying for him and Exodus about changes I believed were coming.

Since then it has become increasingly clear as Randy has prayed and talked with mentors, pastors and close friends that God has been preparing him to serve in exciting areas beyond the borders of Exodus.

As his friend, but also as his brother-in-Christ, I think it is my responsibility to help confirm the gifts I see in him and also encourage and exhort him on a path that enables him to steward those gifts for God’s purposes. In light of that, Randy and I have recently talked and have discussed a transition process that involves Randy stepping into a new part-time position, effective next Tuesday, April 12, as Director of Digital Media and Development. This new assignment will utilize his strong writing and creative skills in expanding our presence on digital and social media platforms and his strong relationships skills in communicating and caring for our givers and supporters.

This new role will also enable Randy to continue to support our ministry, which I know means a great deal to him, while allowing him ample time to pursue his calling and passion in the arts and pastoral care. He has been involved with Exodus, in some form or fashion for about 19 years now. That is a long time and he has been incredibly faithful and loyal to our ministry. He has worked alongside me in some very challenging times and I am SO grateful, as I know you are of his commitment and contribution.

I am excited about this new season for Randy and would encourage you to pray for him as he trusts the Lord and steps out in faith to pursue God’s will. This is a big deal and I know it’s going to be incredible!

Tagged with Change, Encourage, Exodus International, Faith, Friends, God, Joy, Life, Media, Men, Ministry, Pastors, Randy Thomas, Relationship, Sin, Support, Trust, Writing

Discipleship at Breakfast: How Should Leaders Respond to a Confessing Struggler?

Evangelicals and the Gay Moral Revolution

World Magazine Interviews Alan Chambers on Willow Creek Split with Exodus

Jeff Buchanan Responds to Willow Creek Split with Exodus

Gratefully Offended

Exodus Responds to Driscoll’s Facebook Comment

Refined to Reflect the Refiner

Isn’t It Harmful or Unnatural to Deny Your Feelings or Attractions? – Real Answers for April 2011

An Unfailing and Generous Grace – Letter from Alan Chambers for April 2011

New Season for Randy Thomas at Exodus

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