Reaching the World in Grace & Truth
Introduction
Since there is no definitive explanation of how any male actually develops same-sex attractions (SSA), does it even matter how these attractions originated? For example, does a sugar diabetic actually need to know how his digestive system works, in order to learn what not to eat – if he wants to stay healthy? So, does it really matter what caused your same-sex attractions?
Well – no.
And, yes. [Read more...]
Introduction
For the past four articles I have been reminding us that there is no conclusive explanation why any particular man develops same-sex attractions (SSA). I have described some of the major contributors – not causes – that seem to be common for most men with ssa. This article assembles all the pieces together into a pattern I believe explains a very logical progression toward the development of ssa – and a progression that the young male has very little control of. [Read more...]
Introduction
Here’s an obvious fact for males: puberty dramatically changes us! If being born with extra “sensitivity” is arguably the most important factor in what initially creates a male’s same-sex attractions (SSA) [refer to my Part 1 of this series], then what happens in puberty may “pour the cement” for the foundation of a man’s future sexual identity and addiction. Let’s see how. [Read more...]
The Role of Abuse
Introduction
“I did not ask for this … I did not want this … I suffered from this.”
Those are the sentiments of every male who has ever been sexual abused, molested or raped.
Those were my words.
In today’s issue of “Counseling Insights” we continue the six-part series on the factors which may contribute to males developing same-sex attractions (SSA). Please remember that we simply do not know what causes ssa in males, but there are certain factors which commonly appear. It is often the case – but clearly not always – that males who experience ongoing ssa had been abused somewhere in their past: sexually, physically, verbally/emotionally, and/or spiritually. Here’s a review of each. [Read more...]
Introduction
Is there any male out there who has struggled with unwanted same-sex attractions who has not wondered, “How did this become a part of me?” Didn’t think so. Indeed, that question haunted me for years and years.
Let me immediately give you the answer you have longed to learn: no one knows!
There … are you satisfied? Didn’t think so.
Unfortunately, that is the answer. Despite centuries of attempts to learn, neither the Bible nor science has given the individual man his answer. Thus, whenever you hear a counselor or researcher or pastor pronounce with certainty as to what causes homosexuality – beware. Oh sure, there are a lot of theories that claim to know the answer. They don’t.
However, while we can never be absolutely certain of what caused our same-sex attractions, there does seem to be some factors that contribute to it for many males. How many of these factors apply to you, well, I will let you decide.
This issue of “Counseling Insights” looks at perhaps the first, perhaps the most important, and definitely the most common factor – sensitivity. [Read more...]
Certain What to Say?
Christian men who happen to also experience same-sex attractions (SSA) are a very small and very diverse body of Believers! Some of us have had sex with dozens of male partners; some of us have never had sex with a man. Some of us have experienced opposite-sex attractions (osa) for as long as we have experienced same-sex ones – while some of us may never experience osa. Some of us have never had sex with anyone other than our wife – while some of us have never been able to enjoy sex with our wife. Some of us are sexually addicted; some of us abstain from every sexual temptation. Some of us call our self “gay”; others “ex-gay”; others prefer “bi” or “heterosexual”. Some of us never say anything about our sexual identity – and hope that no one ever asks!
One thing that most of us do share – at least initially – is confusion over what identity to call our self. This second part of the two-part series on sexual identity provides you a suggestion for how to both conceive of yourself and describe that identity to others – a suggestion which I give to my clients, and apply to myself. [Read more...]
Written by Dr. Mike Rosebush
Uncertain What to Say
“Are you gay?”
Seems like such a simple question, doesn’t it? Yet, if you are a male who has same-sex attractions (SSA), these three little words can create shame, confusion, deception, silence, and a number of other painful responses. These two issues of Counseling Insights explore the complexities of clarifying our own sexual identity. [Read more...]
For those individuals or family members who struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA) issues, it becomes vital that s/he receive counseling assistance from someone who is experienced in specializing in this complex issue. Research indicates that the number one harm to an ssa client occurs from getting counseling from a well-meaning therapist who does not truly understand (or have sufficient experience) in dealing with ssa issues.
Exodus has already reviewed and approved professional counselors who are skilled and have lots of experience in providing ssa counseling. All counselors hold at least a Masters degree in a counseling discipline, and are either licensed or certified in counseling. And, you can be assured that all Exodus counselors believe that homosexual behavior being sinful – while not condemning someone over the existence of same-sex attractions.
The following are some guidelines in helping you find the right counselor for your needs: [Read more...]
Find an Exodus ministry, counselor, or church in your state.
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