What’s Exodus About? | Is God Mad? | What is ‘Freedom’? | What Next?
Everybody’s story is a little bit different. Whether you have never acted on your same-sex attractions, have a little bit, or you’ve spent several years proudly declaring “I’m gay,” pursuing freedom from homosexuality is a big decision–and it’s a big journey.The good news: you’re not alone.
Maybe you saw a story about Exodus on the news or the internet. Whenever the media talks about Exodus they call us “an organization that claims it can turn gay people straight.” That’s not what we are. We have no trick or technique to offer you that will cause your same-sex attractions to vanish magically.
Maybe you think you were born gay; or you might suspect something that happened in your life somehow caused you to feel the way you do. Any way you look at it, homosexuality is simply part of human experience. It just happens. What you need to realize is that the human experience is in conflict with the way God created us. Exodus is an organization that believes that conflict is resolved in Jesus Christ, and we’re here to support those who are following him.
It’s common for young people with same-sex attractions to feel a lot of shame–especially where God is concerned. You need to know that there’s no need to be ashamed!
First of all, just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. Unfortunately, you probably often see two drastically opposed sides fighting over this issue–and neither one is being very helpful. On the one hand you hear that homosexuality is something you are; it’s a concrete part of your being that you can never change. The other side acts like having same-sex attractions somehow makes you an evil person.
The fact is, both extremes are wrong–in different ways.
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
You don’t struggle with anything worse than what other people struggle with. In God’s eyes, this temptation is no different. He’s not mad at you. He also promises to give you a way out of temptations, so that you don’t have to obey your desires but can obey Him instead.
God doesn’t see you as different, and God doesn’t see you as stuck.
What does ‘freedom from homosexuality’ really mean?
What does it mean to be free? What kind of change is really possible?
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. (Galatians 5:1)
There’s definitely no easy answer to this struggle. If there was, you would have found it already. Those of us who have discovered what freedom means aren’t immune to struggle, and we aren’t perfect. But we have found new hope, new confidence and new desires through growing in our knowledge of who God really is–and consequently, who we really are, too.
There’s more going on inside you than you realize. Homosexuality isn’t as simple as a gene or a hormone. You don’t experience those feelings just because of something your mom or dad did (or didn’t do). Human sexuality is incredibly complex, and is affected by so many different things in life. Your inborn traits can play into it, and so can your upbringing and experiences.
The reality is, human sexuality is all over the place. Our bodies and our emotions tell us to do all sorts of things we were never made to do (that’s our nature being in conflict with God’s). Even people you might think have it easier than you find it difficult to live out God’s plan for their sexuality–not to mention the rest of their life.
No matter what your struggle looks like, though, it doesn’t have to dictate your identity, actions or destiny. A big part of starting this journey is learning to stop thinking the way the crowd thinks, to stop believing everything you’re told just because it’s popular opinion.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
When you start thinking about yourself the way God thinks about you, you’ll begin to understand what freedom really means. Your same-sex attractions may not go away completely–but they don’t have to dominate your life.
Real freedom doesn’t come from just accepting your desires at face value and acting on them. There might be some temporary gratification, sure, but you probably have already experienced some level of dissatisfaction with going that way. Part of you might feel like embracing gayness isn’t giving you what you really wanted in the first place.
Freedom is about finding out who you really are, what you really need and what you really have to give. God wants to heal you where you’re wounded–not just ease the pain. Freedom is about letting Him meet your desires in His way. It’s about breaking out of the past and not letting it define you. Sometimes, finding out you were wrong is the best news a person can get.
Will you ever experience heterosexual attractions? Could be! There are certainly plenty of people who have been where you are and experienced that kind of change, and went on to get married and have kids. Others have remained single for one reason or another. But you’ll find that those who have stayed on the journey will tell you that, either way, it’s worth it.
If you really want to start this journey, you’re going to need some help. And there is plenty of help out there!
First, you probably ought to begin educating yourself to help you understand your struggle and what the journey looks like. To help you do that, Exodus has a lot of great resources available. The main Exodus website also has helpful articles and encouraging testimonies from men and women who have been walking this journey out and know the ropes.
Secondly, it’s important to get connected with people who understand what you’re going through. You can do that through Living Hope’s safe, online forums where you can post questions and prayer requests. You can also find out if there is an Exodus Member Ministry near you where you can find a counselor or support group.
The third step is the hardest, and that’s becoming real with the people in your life. Struggling in secret makes the journey a thousand times harder than it needs to be, and nobody has to live that way. Even if you can’t think of anyone you feel comfortable confiding in, we are confident that God has placed trustworthy people near each struggler for this very purpose. Pray and ask Him to show you who those people are.
You can also search Exodus Church Association to see if there’s one near you. Church Network churches are safe communities dedicated to welcoming, loving and supporting people with your struggle.
There’s a long road ahead but you aren’t alone, and you don’t have to get to the end before you feel like it’s worth walking it out. You can do it, there is hope and help, and God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6)
Follow Us!